About Infant Loss

By: Precious Angel Baby Funerals

The Grieving Process

 

Grief is an intense, lonely, & personal experience. Everyone learns about grief & grieving in the course of natural separation that occurs during infancy & childhood & through encounters with the deaths of loved ones.

 

The death of an elderly loved one is mourned, but is usually expected.

 

The death of a child however, especially the death of an apparently healthy child, is an unexpected event.

 

When a child dies, not only does it destroy the dreams and hopes of the parents, but it also forces family members to face an event for which they are totally unprepared.

 

Most parents who experience the death of a child describe the pain that follows as the most intense they have ever experienced. Many parents wonder if they will be able to tolerate the pain, to survive it, & to be able to feel that life has meaning again.

 

The intense pain that parents experience when their child dies may be eased somewhat if they have insight into what has helped other parents overcome a similar grief. For example, one of the most important things parents need to realize is that recovery from the loss of a child takes time. Each person will have to establish his or her own method of recovery. There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but there is a pattern to the resolution of grief, & there is help available to family members.

 

• It is crucial that parents realize that they are not alone & that others have experienced such grief & have survived.
• It is important for the parents to allow themselves full expression of the emotions they feel.
• It is vital that emotions not be held in for a 'correct time'.
• It is necessary for parents to express their emotions, not necessarily in words, to gain a resolution to their childs death.

 

Emotions that parents may experience include:

• anger
• guilt
• fear
• depression

 

Resolution & Recovery

As the finality of the childs death becomes a reality for the parents, recovery occurs. Parents begin to take an active part in life & their lives begin to have meaning once more.

 

The pain of their childs death becomes less intense but not forgotten. Birthdays, holidays, & the anniversary of the childs death can trigger periods of intense pain & suffering. As time passes, the painful days become less frequent.

 

There is no set time in which recovery takes place after a child dies. The only comforting thought that one can give a parent is that it does occur, the process is slow, but it will happen. Parents need to be patient & loving with themselves, their spouses, & their families.